sitting down and remembering you left your drink in the kitchen
damn, i just got SERVED. by my waitress. this restaurant is excellent.
everything’s so funny when u use the wrong measurement:
- 5 gallons of homework
- mouthful of lint
- 20 degrees of facial oil
- 7 pints of china
- handful of fergi
- 60 mph of dad
60 MPH OF DAD
From now on when I’m in a situation where I have to “say one thing that’s interesting about myself” I’m going to tell people about the time me and my friend dressed up as narwhals for halloween and made informational narwhal brochures to hand out to anyone who asked what we were.
ios8 comes out tomorrow, time to delete my whole life from my phone